When in a relationship, make sure you give yourself a bit of space and breathing room. Spending too much time with any one person or group is not only unhealthy, but dangerous.
I’m sure this is going to sound like quite a dramatic stretch, but to understand this, it’s important to understand how a cult works. Yes, a cult. I’m not trying to propose that being in a relationship is like being in a cult, but there are lessons that can be learned from one mistake and used to prevent another.
A major condition for a cult to work is isolation. If the members of a cult start spending time with other people, they will begin to compare their cult’s ideology with the thoughts of “outsiders.” This is very healthy for the individual, but detrimental for the cult. While it’s important to socialize and share thoughts with others, it’s more important to do this with all different groups of people. Otherwise, ideas just become justified by the same, like-minded people without an outside opinion.
Couples who spend every day together, and bring each other along for every activity they do, are in a very similar situation as these people who are accidentally sucked into a cult. It’s important to keep a healthy level of independence, and spend an equal amount of time apart as together. This doesn’t mean you love each other any less, but you’ll actually end up getting a chance to miss each other (which makes seeing each other mean a lot more).
As far as married couples go, this tends to happen more naturally. Mainly because at least one person spends half the day at work, and the other half at home. This is clearly a fool-proof system since the divorce-rates are so low right now, right? No? Maybe there’s no rhyme or reason to marriage. Maybe people didn’t evolve to spend 50 years together. Maybe people are only meant to spend a few years together and then move on.
In the mean time, while we try to figure that out, try to keep your independence while in a relationship. You owe it to yourself and each other. Or don’t, what do I know?